Bit and Bridle

The hardest lesson in life to learn in my opinion, is accepting and embracing that you are your greatest enemy. Allow me to explain. We walk in pride that we have goodness in us, or righteousness in us. We deceive ourselves only because we seek to push God out of our lives. Let me bring this home to myself. I believed in my human strength to live out a godly life in one specific area of my life. I surrendered all my being except for a small portion. How silly!? Its simply not possible to live from a sinful nature a holy and righteous life. It's like oil and water, night and day. The two are always fighting against each other. Its a rather simple lesson I understand but once you embrace that you absolutely need God in EVERY part of your life, you begin to live in the most humble state. I wake up nowadays knowing that there is no part of me I can trust. This brings Proverbs 3:5-6 home for me. I cannot LEAN on my own understanding nor knowledge. It is by absolute divine grace and love that I move and have my being. Each and every day is a gift, hence the term PRESENT. I sure do not deserve another day to live but God in his RICH mercy gives it to me. 


Its really funny because I think of that scripture:


Psalm 32:9
Be not like a horse or a mule, without understanding,which must be curbed with bit and bridle,or it will not stay near you.



and it kind of made me think that am like a horse and a mule. I feel that I pushed God to that limit of disciplining me with "bit and bridle". I had to hit a wall to realize, hey you shouldn't have gone that way. I probably ignored warning signs along the way but hey I figured, I could always turn it around. Focus there is "I" not God, but "I". What a self-righteous way to think eh? So I read Hebrews 12: 5-10, or rather it was read to me in Church, which talks about the discipline and chastisement of the Lord. In it, there is still MERCY because He disciplines for our good, for my good. I am corrected because He cares for me and wants me to share in His holiness but there things He NEEDS to chip off from my spirit and my human nature that are contrary to what He would like to see. So inasmuch as we fight within ourselves to yield to God's will, in the end its not only smarter but so peaceful. He knows the desires of our hearts and He knows exactly how to fulfill those desires and needs. Its not up to me to tell Him, um, God I really think I really need A,B, C, so do your best and um give it to me please? Its great to pray and submit and establish our desires to Him. The key part of it is to let Him have it...do whatever He wishes, answer HOWEVER He wishes...we on the other hand, have to be patient and wait on Him. Goodness that waiting thing is the worst and hardest and if I could take something out of my walk with the Lord, its the WAITING thing. Haha. Seriously, not that I want a genie but wow, its hard because you fight within yourself to maintain that "peaceful waiting" mode. Enough said. Bit and bridle, like fine gold is purified, am finally letting God not purify just part of me but all of me. Its good to let go, its good to finally give up ALL control, to give up my life so that I can gain it back in abundance. In the words of Luke....


Luke 17:33
Whoever seeks to preserve his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life will keep it.
For me to die is ga